starting over again and again...

I am here. yes. and you are reading what is going through my mind at the very moment that I am writing it down. It's not brain surgery, or even rocket science.. it's just blogging. Like using old school roller skates on a wooden skating rink, I have done this before. many times over.  I used to be scared of using the newer skates, the in-line ones.. I always felt as if they were a bit too racy for me. I liked the traditional, sturdy, (although it could still maim you if left in key spots of the house) metal roller skates.

I used to write in blank pages, my poetry, prose, short stories- ideas, fantasies... I never put them onto the computer. Never used the high-tech blogging sites. Sure, I played with Livejournal and Deadjournal - anyone remember that? But not for anything I really cared about.  Those books are all packed away, little snippets of papers in between the pages with short scrawlings of poetry quickly penned while driving.

I spent most of my last 10 years driving.  Not so much travel (give or take the trip to Florida or England to visit with significant others) and not so much writing.  The job I had literally ripped part of my soul apart.  It crushed me down, flattened me into a pulpy mess of Liz-ness.  Thankfully, the Universe put things in motion to get me out of that job and into something that is so much more healing to my heart- massage therapy.

Now I rub naked people for money.  Sure, I jokingly say this, but it really does make me feel SO GOOD EVERY DAY.  Each day when I am working, I see the changes I bring to my clients.  Not just physical changes either- I have helped a few to change their mindsets and heal more emotionally as well. It means more than you could ever know for me to feel that gratitude, joy and relief as we end our sessions and i walk them to the front counter.

I have so much to be thankful for.  Though I may be struggling financially, my heart feels full and well for once in a very long time.  But I still have a long way to go.

I am still working on me... a new favorite pastime.  In the meantime, if you need me, I'll be in the corner over here, being fitted for some new in-line skates.